Friday, 20 December 2019
Story 228 Part Two – Background.
Hello from Julie and Rochelle.
From Julie.
Yes, it is another joint venture where I wrote this story with the help of my co-writer, Rochelle. Originally, she had been given the task of doing these two stories but when things weren't going so well she called me in.
Our problem here was we had written ourselves into one of those partner swapping situations. This has been done so many times in this blog that the danger is of making it the same old story again.
As both of us weren't so experienced with writing sex scenes, Anne told us not to go deep into the sexual details as other writers had done but rather focus on Kala's thoughts and feelings. We tried to do this but I'm not sure how successful it was. Anyway, we think the story delivers what it promised so in that way I think we did our job.
The real Kala has big tits and loves them being touched. Many men are fascinated with them too so we decided to use this with the story Kala too. That is why David returns to her tits at least three times. He couldn't get enough of playing with them too.
From Rochelle.
I wanted to do something more with Kala. She was new to this partner swapping so I wanted to show that she was interested and keen but also a bit nervous at the same time. There also seems to be some confusion about her sexual experience too. Was Ian the only man she had been with or were there others back before she was married. My story hints that both were possible without revealing which is correct.
There is a parallel here with my personal experience. You can read more of this on my special page above. I had a special relationship with Allan and an interest in going further with him. When the opportunity came up, my husband Marceau, seemed to have no problems with being with Anne. I noticed she was keen too, in fact, it had been Anne who suggested it. But I was suddenly nervous. Allan was gentle with me and soon I got over it and things went really well. That is how I wrote it with David and Kala.
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Kia ora, all my naughty friends.
ReplyDeleteIt is time for me to review another story. A cup of coffee and now sitting on my back deck overlooking the harbour on a calm beautiful morning. Now I get to read this story.
I found this an interesting read. I was interested on how you wrote with Kala being new to taking another man. I see you went with her being nervous and even doubting herself. Good way to do this. Then you wrote in David giving her time to adjust to the idea. This is of course what we would expect.
Now, it comes out in your story that this was written by a woman. Often you can't tell with the more experienced writers of this blog. Let me show you how I know. First, the undressing and sex is very much about the woman with David almost becoming a secondary actor.
I think you missed an opportunity to have Kala explore David's body too. Much to the amusement of some readers you didn't even mention taking his pants off. Personally, I like to read about the men too and maybe Kala could have noticed his hard cock, played with him and even sucked him. I think you missed a chance to add to your story here. Maybe this is what you intended here.
The sexy was good. You managed to put something a bit different here. I know it is hard since couple swaps have been done so often in this blog but you did well with this. Going back to playing with her tits three times would appear to be too much but actually it works really well. Obviously he is fascinated by her big breasts and she loves him playing with them too. You brought this out well.
During the sex scene you showed three parts, the entry stage, the building stage and orgasm stage which gave us more about them doing it. Next time you had her on top again. Not so much detail but again I think it wasn't needed to balance the story.
Technically, a good story. Only a few minor mistakes, some of which appear to be typing or spell check errors.
Well done girls! I am looking forward to part three.
Moa.
Kia ora!
DeleteThank you Moa,
We received your email a while ago and have been waiting for your comment here. Yes, we have corrected all of the errors you have found and even found two more ourselves.
I was very interested in your comments above. Such a long comment. Almost as long as our background but you make some very good points. I did consider us doing a rewrite but Anne says no. "Leave the story stand as it is." But we will try and do more with part three - Ian with Katrina.
Thank you so much, Moa. Your comments are always so helpful.
Looking forward to seeing you at the party.
Rochelle.
Rochelle and I have done a lot of discussing your comments Moa and intend to put your suggestions into practice. Anne has said don't change this story as it's been published but we have done a lot of changes and rewriting in our next story.
DeleteThanks for your help with this blog. You have added so much with your helping those who write to improve their writing skills.
Julie.
We like reading the background stories how they explain where your ideas came from.
ReplyDeleteWe also like the lessons Moa give on your writing. Very informative.
Kenshin.
I agree with you Kenshin. We have enjoyed seeing some insight into the ideas behind these stories. Moa has often mentioned how she has seen an improvement of the writing. We've seen this too.
DeleteOf course not forgetting the stories themselves and the fun comment streams.
Mave
When is the next story being published? I heard it is almost ready.
ReplyDeleteRaymond.
It is almost finished other than an extra sex scene they have decided to add. I'm sure you'll agree that is a good reason for the delay.
DeleteWe are looking at a very fast turn around on this one as Susan and I am proof readers.
Anne.
I've just heard the next story will be published this morning.
DeleteRajah