Thursday 14 May 2020
Story 239 Background.
Hello from Reshma,
Kimberley had intended to write a short series about Kalki's sexual adventures in India, maybe one or two stories at the most. When she began writing Story 237 it was supposed to be one story covering all the events regarding Kalki and her friends in India but it soon became obvious she had grabbed a larger tiger by the tail and needed help. Allan snr was helping already but soon Mary and I joined in too.
So first there was Story 237 A Lizamoa Special for Hamza, where Kalki arranges a surprise for her husband by walking into his shower fully clothed. This was mainly written by Kim although Allan snr claims to have helped.
In Story 238 Sexy Dinner Date, Kalki plans a special dinner date for her husband where she is dressed particularly sexy. Even give a taxi driver a pussy flash before they return to their house for some hot sex. Again a joint venture with both Kim & Allan snr.
Now in this Story 239 Reading About David's Birthday, Kim had started the first half of this story before handing it to me. I rewrote and expanded much of what she had done with the partner swapping between the couples Kalki & Hamza and Sairu & Payam. Then I added the section where Sairu is reading from the letters book and a story turns to fantasy and then Sarvesh gets involved to make her fantasy a reality.
Finally, in Story 240, Mary is writing about this fantasy/role-playing evening arranged by Sarvesh, the Harem Story mentioned in this story. It is a big story, the one Kim intended to write. All four of us, Kim, Allan snr, Mary and I are involved in writing it.
Sorry, I haven't commented much on this story but I'm sure all you readers can take care of the that for me. (Reshma)
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Loved the story. Great story reading fantasy.
ReplyDeleteThere seems to be a new trend where stories are being subdivided into parts. Is this going to continue?
Kirsten.
I'm not sure this is a new way of doing things. Anne usually leaves layout style within reason up to each writer.
DeleteKim laid out these stories and we're just following her ideas
Mary.
Interesting how the stories are coming in small groups now. Sort of like a small series.
ReplyDeleteGrace.
Yes, we think it might be hard to follow if we jump around too much so now we follow one group of characters for a while before moving to a different country and different group. Not sure if more could be done with this but soon we will be getting to another big series where we will be following one group for quite some time.
DeleteReshma.
Good story. You did a great job little sis.
DeleteI know in the first section you had to pick-up the remains of another writer but the second section is more what I would expect from you, Reshma.
Rajah.
Kia ora
ReplyDeleteWelcome all my naughty friends.
This story is good, with one standout scene but not what I would call great. I think part of the reason for this is there are two sections that don't completely relate and the ending seems to have been already used a few times before.
Having said that, I think, like many others have said, the reading fantasy is very good. There is some confusion and distraction in Sairu's thoughts before she gets pulled back to the story she was reading. I rather liked that as I think it fits her personality and what was happening to her at that point.
Discovering Sarvesh was watching and the conversation that followed was good too.
Technically, very good but from Reshma I would expect that. Only two changes I can suggest and I see you have already made them.
Well done Reshma. Well done writing team. We have had a feast of stories recently.
Kia kaka everyone.
Moa.
Thank you Moa.
DeleteI agree with your comments above. It was not a strong story but set among the surrounding stories it works ok.
The two negatives you mention bothered me too but rather than removing them I struggled to improve them.
Again, thanks for your feed back. I always enjoy your comments Moa.
Reshma.
I understand what you said about this story, Moa but I also think we should not judge too hard on what Reshma admitted was a difficult story. I don't usually read a story to after I have published it. Sometimes, even a few days until I get back to read it.
DeleteI think a good story I should give it my attention. Find somewhere quiet where I can read and even possible enjoy the story. That is what I see Sairu doing here. She is feeling sexy and turned on by thinking about this sexy party. Personally, Story 226 - David's Birthday did not do it for me but there are other stories in this blog that have.
Asami
Kia ora Asami.
DeleteYou did make a case for this story. You encouraged me to read it again and I saw it differently. I suggested some more changes to that part of the story and this morning, I see you guys have taken them. Not exactly as I suggested, better actually. But a big improvement.
Moa.