Hello from Susan,
In Story 240, they had done a good job but I felt I could do better. I talked the idea over with Anne and she agreed to help me. Our only concern was that we didn't just make this a copy of the first story. It had to be different, had to be better too but I'll let you decide about that.
This section is more about Jeevan telling the story but much of Part Two is going to be told by Mandara. I wanted to bring out Jeevan and Mandara and get them more involved, particularly Mandara. I think she is often overlooked in favour of the younger, supposedly more sexy women. Well, that is not the case, Mandara might be quiet and shy but when she wants, she can be very bold and sexy too. Go check out some of the stories about her.
The idea came up with reversing the dinner so while the women sat to enjoy the meal, the men would be serving them. Yes, the stripping during the meal had to be included too but I added a variation of that where the men stripped the women as they stripped themselves. Well, why not? The goal is that everyone must end up naked. It also gave me the chance to work in some friendly conflict between Sarvesh and Hansini.
Hi from Allan,
Working with these three girls was a lot of fun. Susan suggested that we try doing one of these dinners ourselves. We should have tried it with the girls serving us men but that story had already been completed so the women decided it should be us men serving the women. Things happened much as we wrote in this story with the meal served in five courses as we all moved towards total nudity.
That was where we came up with the idea of the men stripping the women too. We got some resistance from some of the women and the rebellion by Susan against Geoff also lead to a plate being smashed and food on the floor. That was so good we worked it into the story too. While Anne and Susan resisted the process, we had those like Shandra and Ayaka who were quite happy to go along with their being stripped during the meal. Well behaved, I'd call it.
Later, we had a couple of great brain-storming sessions as we began to organise the basic structure of this story and then we got to work. We wrote parts and then others went over them. In the end, it is rather hard to say who wrote what.
So here is Part One. Go read it if you haven't already.
Well behaved, Allan? I didn't see that remark when I reviewed this post earlier.
ReplyDeleteI know Asami is too nice to add that in so it must have been you!
Nice background photo but it makes the Heading and Title a bit hard to read.
Shandra.
Well I think these men are just as "well behaved" as the ladies here. All naughty.
DeleteTom.
Susan, you said you wanted to include Jeevan and Mandara more. The first section of this story captures that well. See the interaction between this husband and wife. A good bit of writing there.
ReplyDeleteBrian
Yes, I agree. That scene between Jeevan and Mandara really worked well. When she said "Bullshit!" That surprised me but it actually works quite well.
DeleteI wish I could take more credit for that section but it was mainly Anne and Allan.
Sexy Sue.
Kia ora,
ReplyDeleteTo all my naughty friends.
Now a story by the "Big Four." The original mischief makers, opps, I mean writers here. LOL
I noticed some interesting aspects of this story where slightly different things had been attempted. There were more actions introduced into the conversations. Good believable interaction between characters. Persobalities that characters are known for. Surprises too. Mandara saying 'bullshit" & Hansini knocking the plate out of Sarvesh's hand.
Well laid out storyline. It is harder with all your characters role playing but worked for me.
I will not comment on mistakes as I was involved in proofreading before publication.
Kia kaka - Kai kaha.
Be strong, be safe.
Moa.