Hi from Anne,
Well, here is Part Two of our joint venture story being written by the four original writers, Allan, Susan, Shandra and myself (Anne). We wrote different parts and then wrote over and rewrote each other's work. Now it is difficult to define who wrote the various parts of this story which is why we broke from the style of putting a writer's name to each section.
But in general Susan and I wrote most of the story with Shandra guiding and telling us how she thought Mandara would act or react to each situation. Allan did a lot of his adding or reworking conversations. You would have to say we had about equal input into this story.
We wanted this to cover an orgy very similar to that of Story 240 Part Two. Allan also wanted us to feature the couple Jeevan and Mandara. Since Jeevan had appeared a lot in the first part, we decided to feature Mandara in this part. In fact, she tells the entire story as we follow her through a very sexy evening.
Breaking this down, the story became a series of smaller sex scenes where Mandara is with different men, all men whom she knew well and had been with before. Our danger here was that we'd just recreate something we had done before which brought us to the central scene where Mandara has a threesome with the two younger guys Hamza and Payam. Their wives were smaller, slim girls so we wrote of the guy's attraction to Mandara's big tits.
Mandara is very aware of her larger tits and likes guys playing with and being attracted by them so there is a lot of tit play in this story. Even two guys cumming over them and then she made the guys lick her clean again. It seems that they didn't do such a good job because she went for a shower straight afterwards. We had intended to develop this shower scene further but by then we were working on the opening sex scenes in the spa and shower.
We also tried to make the sex positions different too. Shandra found somewhere that Mandara had said she likes doggy style so we worked that into our story a couple of times along with a few different positions we don't usually use. Finally, with Sarvesh they had the more common, maybe I should say the most common position of the traditional missionary position (man on top).
So there it is, finished. Hope you all enjoy.
Anne, Allan, Susan & Shandra.
I have enjoyed these four stories, in fact, this whole series has been good. This one was the best.
ReplyDeleteI am a fan of Mandara, and enjoy stories about her. She is a gentle woman much like my stepdaughter Shandra but has moments when she will surprise you. This story is one of them, out there, aggressively after sex. After cock is the way she put it.
I like these backgrounds too. I like the insight you give us into the writing of the stories. Of course, I see much more of this through the writers meetings. Now here are the original three troublemakers. Oops I mean writers getting together. In some ways a scary thought but it worked here.
Allan snr.
There is a lot of sex within this story but like has already been said, a lot of Mandara too.
DeleteI think we should keep this structure of dividing each story into sections with headings. This is a good way of separating scenes and telling the readers that the situation has changed in some way, a different location, person or sex scene as in this story.
Kim.
Allan snr, do you have a death wish calling us troublemakers like that?
DeleteSexy Sue.
We are having a few problems with the new blogspot software. I have logged the problems with blogspot but I'm not sure much can be done.
ReplyDeleteReaders - We have had a few problems with making comments, particularly when using a mobile phone and the anonymous short cut. The best work around seems to be restarting your phone.
Writers - Formatting links is still a problem but easy to work around. Pages tend to overload smaller laptops during editing. Try and stick with one device during editing a story. In this story we used both a laptop and then a hand phone. Oh dear! Bad idea! When we opened the laptop again, Grammarly went crazy. nearly 500 errors LOL. I had to hand reset each one of these.
Rodney and I enjoyed the story. I liked how good the sex scenes were, and different too. Not seen a couple of those positions before. Must try them, see if they actually work. Ha Ha.
Asami & Radney.
Did I just read that correctly?
DeleteEven with a respectable spelling and grammar program like Grammarly, you still can't fix all Anne's mistakes. LOL
Ryuunosuke
To all writers and editors in all our blogs.
DeleteWe have a work around for links that won't hold their blue text colour. They have to be changed in HTML mode. If you are confident with this, the code is in the doc. called HTML Code on our drop box.
If you feel unsure about doing that then contact either Me (Asami), Susan or Allan snr. We'll fix it for you.
This comment will be sent to everyone.
Asami
I had a look at that code and it looks fairly straight forward. Do you just copy from the doc file?
DeleteMary.
Watch out with this Mary. It is not as easy as it looks. You must remove the old font coding too or you could still end up with the wrong color. Delete too much and the link or text might disappear completely.
DeleteI suggest you get Asami to show you properly.
Susan.
Try with Allan snr.
DeleteSmile sweetly. Look sad and then lick along your lips. He'll do anything for you. Always works. LOL.
Sexy Sue.
The anonymous problem has been solved now. Use "Guest Reader" instead. That will also give you instant publishing of comments. Those of you with authorisation to view the photo blog and new chatroom will know what I mean.
DeleteAsami.
Yes it's working fine Asami.
DeleteOnce again your smart thinking saved the day.
Geoff.
I enjoyed this story, found it entertaining reading.
ReplyDeleteI am a teacher and so I'm interested in the structure and writing styles of many of these stories. In this case the writing was done by some of the bast writers in this blog. I've worked with each of these writers and have some insight on how they usually work.
Anne is a very undisciplined writer. She approaches a story with a view of the whole picture in her head. She begins at the start but soon gets bored so leaving a line of xxxxxx she moves to another part. I this way she is soon working on a number of sections at once. Eventually the caps get filled in and the story is completed.
Susan is more interested in the sex scenes. For her the surrounding story is of little importance. Just get the sex scene done with lots of juicy detail.
Shandra is much more disciplined in that she usually starts at the beginning of a story and writes it much as you would read it. There are a few notes placed ahead but these get deleted as she reaches that part of her story. Her stories tend to have long introductions before she gets to the central scenes. The sex you might say. Shandra has created most of the characters in this blog and so is the go to regarding character building.
Over the years these three have tended not to write together but I was interested when this time they did. Surprisingly, there were not too many fights and a very good story out come.
My step-brother Allan is into conversations. He can write some good ones too. If it is a complex conversational scene he often uses us as actors to develop ideas. I think we really didn't see any of his best work here, being over shadowed by the girls.
Reshma.
I didn't really get the chance to develop any conversations because the tight script didn't allow for it. I focused on punchy little conversation to add variety to the story a highlight certain places. It other places we didn't use conversation at all other than he said or she said etc.
DeleteAllan.
I have read Reshma's comments above a few times over the last few days. In fact, I am intrigued by it and can't stop thinking about it.
DeleteThree women, three very different women who can work together to achieve a common result. I have known each of these women in the bed and what I found there is reflected in their writing styles as told by Reshma above. I am a bit surprised that Reshma will come up with a similar conclusion regards these three women as I have.
When James wrote Story 212 Living Statues, he also came up with similar conclusions as he use his experience of Anne, Susan and Shandra as inspiration for the characters of his story.
Amazing!
Masanori.
Yes James really got it right with his Story 212 Living Statues. He saved this blog at the same time. It had almost died.
DeleteNow the three writers. The Big Three we call them. Super sexy, intelligent and great women to know. I love and admire them heaps.
Geoff.
Now I get to the structure.
ReplyDeleteTo me this is important. I want to see a story has a life like realism and moves forward in a organised manner. I want detail but I don't want rambling on and on about nothing. I want a story to pull me in and hold my intention until the end. I want to feel the emotions of the person telling the story.
In this story, Mandara was allowed to back track a bit as a means of connecting her story to the one told by her husband Jeevan. (See 241 Part One.) Then she starts at the point where everyone gets thrown into the pool.Talk about a cold shower. LOL A bit of humour here.
The sex scenes are really divided nicely using headings. Maybe these could have explained a bit more but they work fine as they are.
The main scene is set towards the center of the story which breaks from the norm of placing it towards the end. It is in someways a female fantasy having two young men with "ever-hard" cocks LOL. It goes through a series of sub-scenes from the bathroom through to the classic guy in each end position. Nicely done with a few positions that were a bit different or even new.
Finally, they switch back to Mandara having a very traditional way of sex with Sarvesh which contrasts with the earlier scenes.
There are actually two conclusions, the first with Jeevan taking us back to where this story started. Then Kalki finishes the series of stories going right back to Story 237.
I hope my comments here can give you readers and idea of the planning and thought behind a story such as this.
Reshma.
Thanks Reshma,
DeleteI am also a teacher, one of my subjects is English Literature. I have often looked at their spelling and grammar in these stories but never bothered to analyze their structural construction such as you did here. Now you bring it to my attention, it is actually quite skillful. This story flows through what could have become a disconnected series of sex scenes but they used Mandara to hold it all together. I was taken through the various scenes being held and guided by this woman's narrative. It didn't occur to me that there was a strong lead in building to a major sex scene and then slowing down to two conclusions at the end. I think I'm going to look differently at these stories from now on.
Often you will find they will break all the rules of basic literature, even basic grammar for that matter, see Ryuunosuke's comment above, but it works here. They construct stories that are tight, fast-moving, very readable and packed with juicy sex. As has often been said, they mix sex, humour and story-telling in a way that attracts and holds a small but loyal following of readers.
Amanda.
Kai ora,
DeleteHello to all my naughty friends.
It is cold up here today. Too cold for my usual seat overlooking the harbour. This old lady is in her soft lounge seat in front of the fire Kura has set for me. Warming her old bones you might say.
Then with a nice cup of hot coffee, Mahuiko began reading this story. I like listening to her reading as she reads so well. Yes, I read the story myself yesterday but now you are waiting for a comment from me. So with pen and pad in hand I sat and listened.
I am also an ex teacher. So I was interested in reading the comments immediately above from Reshma and Amanda. Story structure, literately excellence? Not a major goal among the writers of this blog but they do it fairly well. I do notice a attempt at improving themselves and so have taken the task of encouraging and proof-reading their stories. They have all come a long way from where they started.
This story is very good but not their best. As Reshma and Amanda mentions above, the story is structured and reads well. Technically correct you might say but I missed some of the emotion and excitement that some stories have. Maybe they over thought their writing and lost some of that rough, vivid writing that Anne does so well. I didn't get the emotional buy in that I get from some stories, a small disappointment which might be affecting my judgement.
You can leave it as it is, a good story, seemly being well received by your readers or you could give it another make-over. Have a view of adding emotional excitement. I don't actually think you would need to change much other than capturing some of Mandara's thoughts and feelings. That would make this story more alive to your readers.
Yes, as been said above, a very good story. Technically correct other than one paragraph that was a bit of a mess. You've fixed that quickly so I'll say no more about it. I believe its a story that exceeds expectations sexually and achieves what you set out to do. An orgy scene can be complicated because by its very nature, there is a lot going on all at the same time. But it was a clever idea to ignore everything other than following Mandara. Well done guys.
As I see it.
Kia kaka - Kia kaha.
Be safe - Be strong.
Moa.
Kia ora,
DeleteI have seen the comment Gran (Moa) has just made and I've already told her I think she is being a bit hard on this story. It is a good one. I've read it myself and then this morning read it out to Gran. Both times I thought it was good. Its strength lays in just following Mandara. I don't know this character that well so enjoyed her narrative.
The sex is good too. Different to many I have seen before but you admit to trying to explore now ideas so sex doesn't become the same old, same old, over and over again.
Two men like that! Wow! I'd be in for that. So many orgasms too. Count me in for that too. LOL
As Gran said above - just the way I see it.
Mahuiko
What is this? Mahuiko kicking Moa's arse.
DeleteOh dear! LOL.
A concerned bystander.
Thank you Reshma and Moa for your comments above. Thank you also Mahuiko but I'm not sure about Allan. Maybe I'll leave him for Moa to thank. LOL
DeleteWe have considered your comments carefully and gone through this story again, adding a few words here, removing a few words there. Not really changing the story just improving the finer details. I think we should call it complete for now. Time to move on.
This Indian set is finished and we are moving to the next batch of Australian stories now. Looking like 5 or 6 of them. After that it will be back to New Zealand.
Anne.
I have especially enjoyed this conversation on the structure and formation of stories. I feel I am not qualified to add anything here but I have learnt a lot reading your comments.
DeleteAyesha
I am like you Ayesha. I found this conversation interesting as there appears to be more technical science behind this story writing.
DeleteSakura.
There has been a lot of interesting conversation and debate on the writing and structure of this story. That is exactly what the comment sections of these backgrounds are for. I've been following closely and enjoying them.
ReplyDeleteThis story came out of a writer's meeting when the idea was put for doing another progressive strip dinner. There was some strong opposition against it from many of the writers team. It was about the danger of repeating ourselves.
In the end Anne, Susan and I went for it. It is not the first time that a theme has been repeated and will most certainly won't be the last. As long as good stories are the end result, I say go for it.
Shandra.
The layout and structure was set at the meeting I mentioned above. We had a plan so set to work. It soon became obvious that the scene where Mandara is with the two younger men was going to become the featured scene. We debated on moving it to the end but decided to leave it where it is now.
DeleteThe bit above everyone getting thrown in the pool, I thought was an unnecessary distraction but Anne and Susan wanted to keep it. Since they allowed me to keep Kalki's ending I agreed to the swimming pool part.
So it is done now. While we didn't follow the plan that closely, the story turned out even better, I think. A good story, rather heavy with sex but it's an orgy, what do you expect?
Shandra.
How do you measure the success of a story? I think the best way is to compare the number of comments with the number of hits. In this blog it has often been fairly high because we have a smaller following of loyal readers.
ReplyDeleteSo this story currently - 30 comments for 99 hits.
The background is - 22 comments for 51 hits.
I think that shows this was a successful story.
Asami
I am impressed with the standard of writing in this blog now. You have come a long way.
DeleteI am also impressed with the quality of the comments too. The discussion above regarding structure of a story was very informative.
Asami mentioned the numbers above concerning this story. A very high comment to hits ratio for any social media post. She explained this is due to a very loyal following.
Well done everyone involved.
Jeff.
Thanks Jeff. Good to see you back too.
DeleteI think that is what keeps us writing, a small but loyal readership that appreciates our work.
It is not always easy to keep coming up with new stories and often takes quite a few hours to do a good one. So a good comment stream developing at the bottom is always encouraging even if you stray from the theme of the story.
Shandra.